"Do you have any specific examples?" The question can be both helpful and triggering. Consider two examples: Performance Feedback: You're in a performance review situation, and your manager makes a broad statement like, "You need to slow down to bring other people along on the journey!" What do you do? Your chest tenses up, and you feel threatened. The broad, sweeping statement cuts deep. You ask, "Could you give me an example so I could better understand?"
Funny enough, your use of the two contrasting examples really helped make your central point come through very clearly :)
Stepping back - if you tend to require a specific example more often than not, it might be a sign you can benefit from engaging with more proactive curiosity.
This is an incredibly thoughtful way of framing this. I really like the concept of self-awareness/other awareness.
It hits the same human skills as emotional intelligence but feels so much more....emotionally intelligent! Its so challenging to effectively communicate human skill growth. I always struggle to coach in a way Makes the person feel seen but not feel like a sociopath. Thanks for sharing!
This has happened to me many times because I like examples in general. Giving examples and having them be refuted one by one is frustrating.
Thanks for the advice
Tricky. How does this framework account for the possibility that the feedback given is based on bad information, confusion, a cognitive distortion, or one of our various biases (i.e. recency)? In other words, the validity of the feedback? The only way I can imagine assessing for validity is by studying examples. And it seems inevitable that when trying to summarize something like "performance" across some long span of time, these validity issues will be at play, to a degree. Therefore, maybe we just keep the venue for feedback open and continuous, so that whenever an example that requires feedback or inquiry arises, it's discussed in realtime. That way, no summarizing moment is needed.